Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
