I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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