i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Couch. On fire.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
