dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
