so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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