Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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