I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
