We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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