I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize