Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
