I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
