Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Semen is not good for contacts.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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