The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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