Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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