So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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