I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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