my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize