Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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