i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
