You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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