Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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