so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
