Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
