well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
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I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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