I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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