I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
