i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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