last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
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Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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