I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
