By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
