Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
