I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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