I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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