just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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