I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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