hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just invented taco cereal.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
