Kiss
Puke
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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