But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
