that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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