We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
