im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize