I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Boobs speak an international language.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
