im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
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You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
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Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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