Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
