wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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