went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
