Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
