i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
