We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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