HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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