my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
