i jhust puked up my retainher.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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