I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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