Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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