i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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