so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
