i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
