Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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