Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
