So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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