3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
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Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
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We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper