you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.