Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab

  (253): View more from Washington

  I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.

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  (253): Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab (253): I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea. http://tfl.nu/y0mn
  Replies (3) Good night (2430) Bad night (655)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.

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  (250): I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can. http://tfl.nu/1tw1
  Replies (16) Good night (3258) Bad night (757)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college

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  (847): A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college http://tfl.nu/uf6j
  Replies (37) Good night (5425) Bad night (644)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday

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  (573): Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday http://tfl.nu/e47n
  Replies (7) Good night (4511) Bad night (764)
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  (315): View more from New York

  It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities

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  (315): It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities http://tfl.nu/tqmj
  Replies (11) Good night (5181) Bad night (1558)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?

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  (610): So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her? http://tfl.nu/wt2f
  Replies (31) Good night (1853) Bad night (4110)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..

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  (612): I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket.. http://tfl.nu/9yr8
  Replies (7) Good night (985) Bad night (3821)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.

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  (269): I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you. http://tfl.nu/jro0
  Replies (9) Good night (3639) Bad night (907)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''

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  (248): Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.'' http://tfl.nu/51jx
  Replies (11) Good night (6583) Bad night (2078)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  what type of emt are you

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  (860): i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off. (1-860): what type of emt are you http://tfl.nu/8o94
  Replies (4) Good night (1502) Bad night (711)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.

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  (478): Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night. http://tfl.nu/09o6
  Replies (3) Good night (984) Bad night (416)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too

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  (601): I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too http://tfl.nu/lcoq
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (442)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.

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  (704): when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name. http://tfl.nu/kof4
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (377)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not

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  (309): Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not http://tfl.nu/hh6g
  Replies (0) Good night (276) Bad night (426)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.

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  (908): I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season. http://tfl.nu/j0x5
  Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (258)

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