Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction

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  (202): Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion (202): He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction http://tfl.nu/lcwv
  Replies (60) Good night (861) Bad night (5384)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.

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  (305): nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex. http://tfl.nu/huzf
  Replies (6) Good night (1645) Bad night (4454)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!

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  (480): FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her! http://tfl.nu/hjc1
  Replies (27) Good night (2787) Bad night (1568)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE

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  (978): i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE http://tfl.nu/7vd6
  Replies (9) Good night (1107) Bad night (4740)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.

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  (860): i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess. http://tfl.nu/ekn6
  Replies (9) Good night (973) Bad night (4945)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day

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  (570): It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day http://tfl.nu/m1h1
  Replies (10) Good night (3916) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.

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  (469): I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom. http://tfl.nu/d1jb
  Replies (9) Good night (1007) Bad night (3173)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck

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  (915): Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck http://tfl.nu/avfi
  Replies (4) Good night (2954) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?

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  (815): Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers? http://tfl.nu/gqlt
  Replies (9) Good night (2680) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.

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  (216): Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket. http://tfl.nu/jk3k
  Replies (10) Good night (2927) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out

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  (408): dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out http://tfl.nu/y59w
  Replies (4) Good night (640) Bad night (1427)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING

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  (812): And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING http://tfl.nu/tkug
  Replies (14) Good night (2110) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door

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  (336): We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door http://tfl.nu/uhw2
  Replies (4) Good night (598) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.

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  (920): I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister. http://tfl.nu/n0zu
  Replies (11) Good night (1179) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere

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  (253): First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere http://tfl.nu/66bl
  Replies (0) Good night (715) Bad night (395)

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