Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled

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(443): View more from Maryland

He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him

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(773): View more from Illinois

He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(897): View more from

i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Omg that was my second thought of the morning.

(802): View more from Vermont

First was that we had pop tarts.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.

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(773): View more from Illinois

He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache

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(585): View more from New York

Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.

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