Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.