Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"

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  (602): I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs" http://tfl.nu/3iif
  Replies (19) Good night (3700) Bad night (649)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do

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  (920): Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do http://tfl.nu/w5tc
  Replies (12) Good night (567) Bad night (5842)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.

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  (910): Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up. http://tfl.nu/oxuw
  Replies (26) Good night (8103) Bad night (1289)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.

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  (610): Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever. http://tfl.nu/x9w2
  Replies (33) Good night (983) Bad night (4266)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.

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  (706): I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja. http://tfl.nu/8z0x
  Replies (13) Good night (2328) Bad night (698)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.

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  (317): Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina. http://tfl.nu/mqdf
  Replies (9) Good night (1419) Bad night (883)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.

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  (916): I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me. http://tfl.nu/xyna
  Replies (7) Good night (3660) Bad night (613)
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  (562): View more from California

  Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook

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  (562): Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook http://tfl.nu/7qsk
  Replies (6) Good night (1253) Bad night (379)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.

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  (407): Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship. http://tfl.nu/8uzj
  Replies (5) Good night (787) Bad night (374)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together

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  (816): First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman. (540): Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together http://tfl.nu/87tf
  Replies (3) Good night (951) Bad night (366)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire

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  (315): Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire http://tfl.nu/4zum
  Replies (7) Good night (666) Bad night (251)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.

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  (973): i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls. http://tfl.nu/jxeo
  Replies (5) Good night (606) Bad night (235)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?

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  (360): I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home? http://tfl.nu/x6vd
  Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (515)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present

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  (815): I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present http://tfl.nu/cw7h
  Replies (3) Good night (317) Bad night (239)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat

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  (425): Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat http://tfl.nu/7oyq
  Replies (0) Good night (208) Bad night (416)

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