I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!