If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
